I originally started this piece a couple of days ago with a fancy title that was to capture your attention and woo your psyche. I spent a couple of hours drafting ideas, thoughts, and approaches, and then I hit a block. It just did not flow. I was trying too hard to impress the readers and project some sort of authority on the subject.
I found Lindalee working on a post of her own, happy and content with a glimmer of satisfaction in her eyes and sipping a coffee concoction she likes to make. I immediately knew this was not an environment to foster the ill feelings that possessed. She offered to share what she had written with me in efforts to assuage my mental state, but I declined. I needed some time and space to contemplate my current emotional quandary.
I found myself a quiet place, closed my eyes, and pondered. I was honestly reflecting, analyzing, and evaluating. And then it came to me. I knew in an instant why I had awoken madder than hell. I was scared and consumed with a fear of the future.
At this point, I need to provide you with a bit of back story so that you can fully understand the fear that I was experiencing that had manifested in the anger. I have owned a small wholesale business in a niche market for more than fourteen years. Over the past few years, market conditions have changed dramatically. Manufacturers in the industry have found ways to recapture revenue streams that were once left to this niche market. In addition, acquisitions and consolidations have further eroded market share and product availability. The little company that has provided a livelihood for the past fourteen years is coming to an end. Transition is at hand. And the change is as scary as the imaginary monsters that use to hide under my bed as a young child.
When faced with the transition, I am not one of the most eager to jump in. This trepidation often leads to a prolonging of the situation. The prolonging initiates the mind reeling and spinning out of control. Outlandish scenarios about the future and the unknown tend to follow.
I am not sure what will happen in the coming future, but I do know my reflections this morning have led me back to the purpose of these words I am writing. What is it like to live in the present?
Mother Theresa was quoted as saying, “Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.”
